By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

Dating is hard.

Dating can be an endless string of bad dinners with people who just aren’t right for you. It can also be a long-term commitment with someone who is right for you. Either way, you’ve probably received some guidance on what dating is supposed to look like as a Christian.

What if I told you that advice was wrong?

Will You Accept This Rose?

Can you locate the exact verse in the Bible that lays out the rules for dating? You can’t. It doesn’t exist. Dating is a modern concept that our Biblical ancestors never dreamed of.

Marrying for love is pretty modern, too. Yes, many couples throughout history did love each other, and some defied their families to be together. But the majority viewed marriage as business transactions or for political alliances. Young women especially had very little say in who they married. They rarely spent unchaperoned time with a man before they wed.

So how can there be set rules for a phenomenon that only recently became the cultural norm? If the Bible doesn’t say anything about dating, can’t we approach dating however we want?

As You Wish

The simple answer is yes. If you prefer group dates to being one-on-one, that’s okay. If you don’t like blind dates, that’s okay. If you want to take a break from dating, that’s okay.

Dating should be comfortable. The person you date should respect your boundaries. Tell them if you do not consent to a kiss at the end of a first date. Ask them to choose a different movie if you aren’t a horror fan. Call a friend to pick you up if your date pushes your boundaries in any way.

Reciprocate that respect, too. Listen to your date, and don’t push them into anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.

There are no rules for dating except for the rules you make yourself. I’m not advocating that you ignore the advice of those who care about you. I am encouraging you to give yourself grace. Pray and ask God what your rules should look like. And if you break a rule, don’t sweat it! God still loves you.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Dating is hard enough. A lot of people are going to try and tell you what’s right and wrong about your approach to dating. Hearing their advice doesn’t mean you have to heed it. What works for one person may not be the best approach for someone else.

Find what works for you and hold fast to it. Stand your ground. It’s your love life and you’re in charge.