By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

Sometimes I hesitate to tell people I’m a Christian. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I don’t always have the energy to explain how I don’t fit certain stereotypes.

I drink. I swear. I listen to rock music. I treat trans women like I do all other women. I support career women and full-time homemakers equally.

I’m not “that kind of Christian,” the image that pops into people’s heads. You know the one. Submissive. Teetotaler. Doesn’t show any skin. Believes they can pray the gay away. Or pray the cancer away.

There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Christians, compliments of a very vocal faction of Christianity. It presents a challenge to the rest of us. How do we define ourselves as Christians? How do we separate ourselves from toxic messages perpetuated by other individuals who claim to be Christian but instead promote violence and hatred?

What does it mean to be Christian in today’s world?

Jesus Loves You, This I Know

I don’t want this to sound like I’m throwing other Christians under the bus, or I’m attacking their beliefs and values. That would be pretty hypocritical. I do want to emphasize that one of the beauties of Christianity is that we each have individual relationships with Jesus which allows us all to interpret the Bible in different ways.

Do I disagree with the interpretation of some other Christians? Absolutely. But ultimately it’s not my place to judge. I’ll leave that to God.

I will say that I have concerns with the toxic rhetoric certain so-called Christians spew, and if I can counteract that in some way, I will.

To that aim, let me say this: you are loved. I love you. Jesus loves you, just as you are:

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that he also love one another. By this shall men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13:34-35 (KJV)

Do you have tattoos and piercings? You are loved. You can be a Christian. You don’t have to change.

Are you gay, lesbian, transgender, non-binary, or questioning? You are loved. You can be a Christian. You don’t have to change.

Are you a woman who feels called to ministry? You are loved. You can preach. You can follow in the footsteps of our biblical ancestors such as Priscilla and Lydia.

Have you had sex outside of marriage? You are loved. You can be a Christian. What you consent to do with your body is your choice and those choices are valid.

They Will Know We are Christians by Our Love

Christians should be defined by their love. Love for God, love for one another, and love for God’s world. There is no place for hatred in Christianity. It really is that simple.

How do we express that love? We embrace everyone. We don’t require anyone to fit a certain mold or check a series of boxes. We don’t shove religion down anyone’s throat either.

It can be weird sometimes to tell someone you’re a Christian when they expect you to evangelize. They automatically put up barriers, ready to push back against what you have to say. Or they go straight to offense and start telling you everything that’s wrong with Christianity.

It throws them off when I tell them I agree. In so many ways Christians have lost the plot. I have zero interest in forcing non-believers to convert. If the way I live encourages you to seek Jesus, that’s wonderful! I’m still your friend even if you don’t.

We Love Because He First Loved Us

As Christians we are commanded to love as Christ loves. He doesn’t expect perfection. He doesn’t force us to look a certain way. He doesn’t condemn us for coming to Him just as we are. Love God, love one another, and you too will be loved.