By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

Joy, kindness, love, these are just a few of the Fruits of the Spirit. They’re also positive emotions, the type we want to feel. We want to be happy and not sad. We want to be joyful and not angry.

But negative emotions are part of being human. If we don’t feel the entire spectrum of human emotions, the good and the ugly, then we’re missing key components of what makes us human.

God created every inch of our beings. That includes our emotions! When we ignore certain feelings, we’re ignoring what makes us human. We’re ignoring how God made us, and God made us to be complex, complicated, beautiful creatures. Feeling your feelings is a reminder of the Creator’s decision that the world needed you to exist.

Jesus Experienced Emotions, Too

There’s a misnomer that Christians are supposed to be happy all the time. That sounds terribly exhausting. And unhealthy. Yes, living your life perpetually angry isn’t good, either. And if you are feeling depressed, I strongly encourage you to talk to a friend or a professional counselor. But it’s okay, even encouraged, to feel negative at times.

Jesus got angry. Matthew 21:12 tells a story of Jesus reacting to improper worship in Jerusalem: “And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves” (KJV). Jesus exhibits very human impulses by reacting with anger towards the impropriety occurring in His Father’s house.

Jesus also expressed sorrow. When His friend Lazarus dies, John 11:35 states that “Jesus wept” (KJV). If Jesus can be in touch with His emotions, so can we! We strive to emulate Christ and that means going beyond serving and sacrificing for others. If we want to be more like Jesus then we need to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, too.

It’s Okay to Not be Okay

I want to tell you that all those messages telling you that good Christian girls and women are always bright, happy, and positive are utterly WRONG. You don’t stop being a Christian because you feel frustrated. You don’t grieve God’s heart because you’re being irritable today.

Yes, what you do with those emotions matters. We have all let our emotions get the better of us and ended up lashing out at people we love. It’s okay. Apologize to the people you hurt, accept responsibility for your actions, and let go of the guilt for allowing yourself to feel your emotions.

It’s okay to not feel bubbly and positive all the time. It is not a sin to feel negative emotions. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be numb. There is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing yourself to experience uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions sometimes.

Once More With Feeling

Feel your feelings and embrace your emotions. It’ll make you more Christlike! Own your emotions by acknowledging that they exist while taking responsibility for any actions you take that are informed by your emotions. It’s okay if your emotions lead to mistakes. God offers forgiveness and you can always return to the path God has for you.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. All emotions are valid. You’re valid, too!