By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

We are blessed to live in an era where vulnerability is celebrated. The social stigma around therapy has dramatically changed in the last several decades. Even within Christian culture, we are starting to tear down walls and better understand the connection between faith and mental health. As a society, we are recognizing the importance of spiritual health and its physical and emotional effects.

A relationship with God can increase our peace and reduce our anxiety. Joining a faith community helps combat loneliness. Recognizing that our bodies are houses for the Holy Spirit encourages us to take care of our physical forms through exercise and healthy eating. We acknowledge that mind, body, and spirit are interconnected.

Love is the underlying thread that binds those forces together. By loving God, ourselves, and one another, we reveal the tangible results of this interconnectedness. Remember these words from Mark 12: 30-31: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these” (KJV).

It is impossible to love one’s neighbor if one does not first love oneself. On the surface that sounds selfish. But in practice, how do you expect to take care of others if you yourself are unwell? You’ll burn out. You won’t be able to help anyone if your tank is empty.

Peace and Love

How we love others and ourselves is constantly evolving. It’s not always easy. Each of us defines love a little differently. Some of us find loving others easier than loving ourselves, or vice versa. Trauma warps love into a four-letter word. But at its most basic, love is the wholeness and connection we have with the Almighty. No outside force can destroy the love of God.

God’s love for us has no limitations. Yet we limit our love for the Lord. Not always consciously, of course, but all of us fall short at some point. How can this be so? Because we fail to love others and/or ourselves. When we restrict our love for mankind, we restrict our love for God. When we hate ourselves, we grieve God. God offers us peace and yet, for a variety of reasons, including those outside of our control, not all of us know true peace.

As Christ says in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (KJV). Finding inner peace is a journey we all take. While there are many paths to follow, true peace and true love come from knowing Jesus. It is impossible to know Christ’s peace and hate oneself at the same time. That being said, it is absolutely possible to be a Christian and still experience self-hatred and self-loathing. Following Jesus does not remove any negative feelings we may have for ourselves with a quick snap of one’s fingers. Jesus is our Lord and Savior, not a magician.

Love Beyond Measure

You are worthy of love. If you don’t feel that way, repeat the words of the psalmist: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well,” (Psalm 139:14 KJV). God loves you so much that He gave you life. He loves you so much that He gave up His own life so that you may live! He asks three things in return: love Him, love yourself, and love your neighbors.

Start by loving yourself. That sounds backwards from what most Christians will advise. Generally, Christians are told to love God first and the rest will follow. As we reviewed in the scripture from Mark, it is the first and greatest commandment. But loving yourself is one of the ways to love God. You are part of God’s creation, and God wants us to care for His creation. Once you can love yourself, then you can return that love to God and share it with others.

To Know God is to Love God

Fill your tank and keep it full. The best fuel comes from reading your Bible and talking to God in prayer. Connect with a church community. Commit to a daily devotional, like the one I wrote (Love God, Love Others, Love Yourself: A 90-Day Devotional for Young Women). Listen to sermons online or subscribe to a faith-based podcast. Immerse yourself in God’s presence.

We must learn to love ourselves. We deserve to love ourselves. God created us out of love. Isn’t something created from love also worthy of love itself? When we learn to accept ourselves, to like ourselves, to love ourselves, then the love of God will spill forth and pour into other people. We will overflow with love!