By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

The amount of discourse around Biblical womanhood overwhelms me. If I follow the definition as posed by one side, the other side demonizes me. It feels like a battle no woman can win.

It is a battle no woman can win because, contrary to what we are often told, it is not a spiritual battle. Attempting to shoehorn women into a specific definition of femininity and godliness is born of mankind’s quest for power and subjugation. God has nothing to do with the oppression of His daughters. In fact, God liberates and celebrates women.

If God is for women, then why are some men (and even some women) against us? There’s not a one-size-fits-all answer to that question. I could spend this entire post listing the various reasons people believe what they believe regarding Christian women. That’s not the point I want to make. Instead, I want to encourage you when, like me, you feel like you’re under attack from all sides.

Daughters, Rise Up

Remember that God loves His sons and daughters equally. All children of God are beloved, blessed, and redeemed. Neither your biological sex nor your gender identity can change God’s love for you. Jesus died on the cross for everyone. Regardless of how we differentiate between men and women socially, regardless of sexist laws or culturally accepted misogyny, we are all washed in the Blood of Christ. Nothing on earth can annul Jesus’ sacrifice.

I want to share an example of God’s law superseding man’s law, and the effect it had on women. Ancient Israel was a patriarchal society. The eldest son inherited the family land from his father, with the intention that one day his own eldest son would inherit the land from him. This practice ensured that the family land and wealth remained intact. Modern societies call this primogeniture, and it’s still legal around the world.

One of the most famous examples of primogeniture occurs in Pride and Prejudice. The Bennet family home, Longbourn, is legally entailed to a male heir, which means none of Mr. Bennet’s five daughters can inherit Longbourn. Instead, it will go to a distant cousin, Mr. Collins.

Now that we have a better understanding of patriarchal inheritance, let’s review a similar situation that happens in the Old Testament. A man named Zelophehad had no sons, only daughters. They addressed Moses and the other male leaders and argued their case – why should their father’s land go to someone else simply because he had no sons? Why could they not inherit instead? The Lord spoke to Moses in agreement with the women who were then given their inheritance (Numbers 27:1-11, Joshua 17:3-6).

God loves women so much that He intervened on behalf of a set of sisters who dared to stand up for sexual equality. It is Biblical to right the wrongs of this world. It is Biblical to embrace your position as a beloved child of God. But how we apply these teachings to women creates frustration, fear, and confusion.

Four Steps to Grant Yourself Peace

So how do we counteract these conflicting messages about Biblical womanhood? First, accept that you can’t stop these messages. They’re not going anywhere. The role of women in the church has been a topic of conversation for over 2000 years. How Christian women are supposed to live, worship, and behave will be a discussion point for years to come.

Second, recognize that you can’t please everyone. How you live out your faith as a Christian woman will upset someone. It’s a guarantee. Somebody will judge you. It stinks, but it will happen. Some people will say you’re too meek and mild, while others will say you’re too bossy and loud.

Third, read the stories of women in the Bible. They were strong and courageous. Like Zelophehad’s daughters, they stood up for themselves and their loved ones. Mary’s Magnificat sings of rebellion. Ruth gave up everything to stay with Naomi and worship the One True God. Esther risked her life to save her people. We can learn so much from these women about devotion and glorifying God.

Fourth, spend time in prayer. Talk to God about the person He wants you to be, not the woman He wants you to be. Ask Him how to respond to the messages about Biblical womanhood. Human beings are often quick to anger and quick to judgment. That’s not how we should be responding. Let God direct your words and actions and guide you into His definition of Biblical womanhood for you and your life.

Person of God

Definitions of Biblical womanhood span the spectrum. A quick internet search will populate thousands of results that contradict one another. And the definitions are constantly changing. It’s impossible to keep up. It’s impossible to follow them all to the letter.

Our priority should not be to be the perfect Christian woman based on capricious, manmade rules. Our priority should always be to follow Jesus. Don’t get caught up on being a “woman” of God. Focus on being a child of God. What is God calling you to do? How does He want you to live your individual, unique life?