By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer honestly. Do you pray for your friendships? I don’t mean pray for your friends. You likely (hopefully) pray for each of them. I’m asking if you pray over the relationships you have with your friends.

Praying for individuals focuses on their well-being. We pray for their physical health, for their finances, that they get out of a bad situation. Praying for friendships focuses on the connection between yourself and another person. Focusing on the relationship itself forces us to evaluate what kind of friend we are, consider what kind of friend the other person is, and discover how to maintain healthy relationships.

Like every other relationship in our lives, each friendship is unique. You share a history together. Who you both were and who you both have evolved into today helps form the basis of the friendship. Friends can be our greatest confidants and champions. They can become family. True friends are one of God’s greatest gifts.

Show Your Love

Friends are the people we choose to surround ourselves with. We allow them to influence us. If you find a true friend, and you both put in the work to maintain a healthy friendship, they will only ever want what is best for you. Remember these words from Proverbs 17:17: “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (KJV).

Praying for someone is one of the best ways to show how much you love them. We’ve already established it’s good to pray for your friends. Praying over the friendship is another way to show your love. Doing so illustrates that the relationship matters to you. It’s so important to you that you can’t help but talk to God about it!

Friendship takes work. By praying over your friendships, you are actively putting effort into the relationship. It’s a conscious decision to not only want the relationship to be healthy and strong, but to take actionable steps to make it so. Prayer isn’t passive. Prayer is active communication. You don’t just talk to the Lord; you listen to Him, too. And He acts on your prayers. God hears when you pray over your friendships and He provides guidance on how to enjoy happy, healthy friendships.

Give and Take

Friendships, like any partnership, should be equitable. Sometimes you give and sometimes you take. But not all relationships follow this pattern. It’s an unfortunate reality that some friendships are unbalanced. All relationships will go through seasons where one party selflessly supports the other. As long as this support is reciprocated when needed, that’s a pretty good relationship. But if your friendship is heavy on supporting only one of you all the time then you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

Some people are takers. They communicate when they say have something to say (usually to brag about themselves or request a favor). They never ask questions about other people and their lives. Am I hitting too close to home? Maybe your friend is a taker. Maybe you are the taker. What’s important is that you recognize the relationship is unbalanced. That’s step one. Step two is praying about it.

If you’re the taker in the friendship, ask God to help you identify those moments when you are taking more than you’re giving. Allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and correct you. Be intentional about providing your friend with opportunities to share about their life. Talk less and listen more!

If your friend is the taker, ask God to soften their heart and to give you the words to address the situation. I know it sounds scary to confront someone head-on but if you are true friends, then honestly expressing your feelings should not irreparably harm the friendship. It might be a little awkward for a while as you both navigate towards a healthier relationship but it’s worth it in the long run.

Don’t Stop Praying

Relationships are complicated. Prayer helps us peel back the layers of our relationships to better understand ourselves and the people in our lives. We should consistently pray over our friendships, marriages, familial relationships, and even our workplace relationships. When we talk to Jesus about our relationships, He illuminates the dark places (yes, there are dark places in every relationship) and encourages us to take necessary steps towards brighter, healthier relationships.

Our friends deserve our best. The best we can give them is to pray for them and for the friendship. Expressing your love through prayer requires very little effort. So add praying for your friendships to your prayer lists!