By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Love is a word we toss around so casually that it has largely lost its meaning. We say that we love specific foods or movies, t-shirts or memes. As a romance author, my experience with the word love is mostly romantic, occasionally platonic. For some people, love is a four-letter-word influenced by pain and trauma.

When Paul writes to the Galatians, he isn’t concerned about worldly types of love. He focuses on the love of Christ. This love isn’t materialistic or simplistic. It’s all encompassing, going beyond our limited human understanding. That being said, the love of God is still a fruit that we can bear in our lives. Remember, we are created in God’s image. The Holy Spirit lives within us. We possess the ability to love as God loves.

It won’t be easy. Producing good fruit never is. But it’s worth it. If we truly strive to be like Jesus, then we must start with love. Love is the foundation of every other fruit of the Spirit. Without love, there can be no joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, or self-control. Without love, our lives will bear no fruit.

Detangling Love is a Three-Step Process

Jesus’ death on the cross is the greatest love of all. There is no way for any of us to top it. We can, however, emulate it to the best of our ability. The first step is to uncomplicate love. The English language lacks distinction between different types of love which adds to the complications, but even if we had distinctions, I think culturally we would still be where we are today. See, we’ve diluted love. Funny how dilution leads to complexity. But dilution is not simplicity, and that’s the problem. Love boils down to one thing: sacrifice. Jesus set an amazing example of this in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only born Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” Now, our sacrifice may not require death, but it will require putting other people first and glorifying God in all we do. It’s a simple concept.

The second step is to reserve love for that which is deserving of love. I don’t mean picking and choosing people who agree with you while demonizing those who disagree with you. I mean loving all God’s children, all God’s creatures, and all God’s natural world. We can certainly enjoy music and architecture and food and physical comforts, but those are not things we should love. I say this as an author, as someone who tells stories for a living. The arts are wonderful and play an important role in our lives and society, but they should never be more important that that which God has created Himself. Nor should cozy blankets, cups of hot coffee, or binge-watching your favorite series. Those are things you can certainly enjoy but be careful not to give them prominence over who and what deserves your love.

The third step is to stop withholding love. If we want to produce good fruit and love as Jesus loves, then we have to love everyone. That’s difficult sometimes. It is not human nature to love our enemies. Remember what I mentioned earlier about sacrificial love? Loving people you don’t like will require sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice includes being judged yourself. Jesus’ love is radical. Other people may not understand it and they might speak harshly to you about it. You may have to face some very real fears of losing friends, of being attacked (verbally or even physically), of standing alone in the face of hatred. But it’s what Jesus calls us to do. We cannot pick and choose who we love. Everyone deserves love.

Manage Your Expectations

A lot of weddings include a reading from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It’s used by the most faithful and by those who don’t attend church regularly. It’s even heard in secular movies and television shows. Let’s review those verses:

Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship (romantic, platonic, or familial) knows that earthly love doesn’t always meet the bar set by 1 Corinthians. People hurt people. We disappoint one another. Thankfully, that’s not how God’s love works. The love Paul describes in Corinthians is God’s love, not human love. That doesn’t mean we’re off the hook-we should still strive to love as God loves-but it does explain why our love doesn’t always meet expectations.

Give yourself grace. You’re human. Leave perfection to Jesus. He doesn’t expect you to always get it right. The goal is to try. There will be times when you are irritable towards people you love. You may get mean or judgmental or smug. It happens. Be careful not to let it happen frequently, but on the rare occasions that your love is not a 1 Corinthians kind of love, don’t beat yourself up about it. Take a step back and talk to God about it. Seek forgiveness from your loved ones. Do better moving forward. Love isn’t a one-time action. Love requires intention and constant effort and a lot of help from the Holy Spirit. Only by partnering with the Lord will you love as God loves and produce good fruit.

Radical Love

The fruits of the Spirit are manifestations of our faith and obedience, but they’re not always easy to cultivate and maintain. As human beings, we tend to lean towards selfishness, anger, irritability, and pride. The good news is that God already knows about those flaws. That’s why He partners with us to produce good fruit in spite of our natural inclinations.

Love is a simple concept, but practically challenging. We don’t always want to step outside of our comfort zones and extend love to people we dislike. That’s the point, though. That’s how we show the world we are followers of Jesus. If we want to produce good fruit, then we must allow the Lord to use us to spread His radical love through the world. Otherwise, our fruit will be rotten.

All scripture is quoted from the World English Bible, public domain.