By Briana Bass, Christian Romance Author, Devotional Writer & Certified Professional Coach

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness isn’t fashionable. Most of the fruits of the Spirit aren’t fashionable, not in the way the world would define it. The world tells us that to get what we want we need to be firm, assertive, and if you’re a woman, a certain word that starts with B and rhymes with witch.

Yeah, the world is not a fan of gentleness. Good thing we’re not here to impress the world. Jesus loves gentleness, and He’s the one we want to follow. How many times in the Gospels did Jesus interact with people who argued with Him or mocked Him, and instead of taking the bait, He reacted with a soft-spoken word and quiet spirit. (Okay, so He did flip tables, but that was for a very specific reason.) Jesus led by example, an example we are expected to emulate.

It’s gentleness that will change the world. Not hatred or anger or fear. Not war or violence or tyranny. As with all the fruits of the Spirit, gentleness stems from love, and there is nothing on earth as powerful as God’s love. That love flows through us, manifesting in the good fruit that softens hearts and opens minds to make the world a better place and help build God’s Kingdom.

Strong as Gentleness

Our society is quick to judge. And quick to cut ties. Or sue one another. Or call the police. We go from zero to a hundred in a second, jumping straight to comeuppance or at the very least smug satisfaction on our part. Culture tells us that if we don’t act immediately then we won’t get our revenge or get our way. The thing is, those knee-jerk reactions are usually fueled by fear, anger, and hatred. Think about the “Karens” you know or you’ve heard about. How many of them acted rashly out of an abundance of kindness? Um, none of them. Though they may be trolled for a while on the internet, most of the “Karens” don’t actually face social ridicule. Society not only condones, but even encourages, their behavior. So rather than “Karens” becoming a rare species, we see a proliferation of them.

That type of behavior is unbecoming for Christians. We are called to follow a different path than the one the world celebrates. Instead of berating our neighbors, we are expected to be gentle with them. As Philippians 4:5 says, “Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.” Christians are supposed to set the example. We are to humble ourselves, putting others first and recognizing when we’ve made a mistake. Gentleness means giving other people the benefit of the doubt and extending mercy when they’re the ones in the wrong.

A gentle and quiet spirit is not meekness. It’s strength. See, gentle people don’t raise their voices or manipulate others to get their way. Instead, gentle people focus on how they can effect positive change in the world in ways that build people up rather than tearing them down. In other words, in a world of “Karens,” be like Jesus instead.

Gentle Words Lead to Miracles

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Anger begets anger. One person gets riled up and it spreads like wildfire until the mob is baying for blood. Your friend or your family member is upset, lashing out, and you take it personally, hackles rising until you’re giving as good as you get. I’ve been there. I bet you can remember a time when it happened to you. Now look, anger is normal. Having emotions is part of being human. It’s how we handle those emotions that marks us as Christians and produces good spiritual fruit.

You can’t control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. You choose how to respond. Do you give a gentle answer, or rebuke with a harsh word? Humility and gentleness, which go hand in hand, aren’t just about selflessness. They’re also about self-control (more on that topic next week!). When we are the masters of our emotions we can respond in productive ways. These become teachable moments, opportunities for others to learn a better way of reacting to the people and events around them.

Listen, there’s enough anger in the world. What we need is more peaceful conflict resolution, and gentle answers are, well, the answer. A gentle person listens attentively and responds accordingly. They attempt to see all sides of a problem, and to understand why and how someone believes what they believe. That doesn’t mean they agree on everything, but they respect the dignity of the person across the table from them. That’s gentleness. It’s how Jesus sat with tax collectors and sinners, not because He agreed with their actions or decisions, but because He saw their humanness. He loves us because of our humanity, not in spite of it. Let us do the same and interact with one another in gentleness, love, and humility.

Choose Gentleness

Being a gentle person isn’t easy. The world will mock you. It’s painful to realize that you don’t fit in with the crowd. I don’t say that in a wanting to be like the crowd way, but in the sense that the crowd disagrees with you. It breaks my heart to see that the world would rather choose division and hatred when I know that we could be so much better if we were simply gentle with one another.

Gentleness is a choice. We must choose every day, every moment, to humble ourselves and be more like Jesus. Speak words of affirmation to one another, friends. Offer mercy instead of condemnation. Remember, little actions can lead to big changes. Be the change you want to see in the world.